Hello again! It’s been a little while I know but hey I am still here. Up until Easter I felt great and at peace with myself. Easter day I woke feeling like I wanted nothing more then a drink. If there would have been anything to drink in the house that day I would have been wasted by need. There wasn’t thank God for small miracles. I spent Easter avoiding everyone including the animals, I laid down all day and tried to sleep. That’s when I knew things were stirring up inside again! Holidays and Birthdays are very hard for me without my kids. So far I have survived Christmas, Easter, Thanks Giving and 2 of my children’s Birthdays. All I got left is my youngest son’s 18th Birthday next month which is going to be so hard, your kids only turn 18 once!
Me and my man are trying to make plans and more money to get out to see the kids this year so that will be so nice. Anyways since Easter I have been going through some rough times. I feel totally helpless a lot and I don’t know how to fix anything and it feels as if nothing is within my control. All these feelings and thoughts tear me apart at times. The only thing I know to do is pray but I am only human. I hope to be able to get a plan together or something that will help bring my spirits up and get me driven again. Lately I don’t even feed myself, why? well because I just feel like sleeping and forgetting the world exists. I’m getting better everyday. I do shower and I force myself to eat if I go for more then a day and a half or so without anything. I just have to try and think positive!
There’s my up-date everyone. Any suggestions or comments please feel free I love input and to be able to see my writing from someone else’s perception!