Posted in Life through the eyes/mind of recovering addicts!

Soul Searching?

I am searching everyday for answers about myself! Today on facebook I came across an Author who’s been on my list awhile but I never really noticed him until today. Today he posted an excerpt from one of his new books so I started reading because I try to read everything people post. I got so interested in this reading that I was upset it was over so fast. So I went and checked out his page which is the link I am going to share with you here. If you are a soul search like a lot of us then perhaps you will get as much out of this Author as I believe I will. The Authors name is Bryan Radzin in case you would rather look him up yourself.

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Posted in Life through the eyes/mind of recovering addicts!

Beautiful Monday!

Well I just came to check in. So I had a fairly normal weekend. My head has been quite I’ve gotten to relax and watch a movie, prioritize, and solve a few of my issues. Feeling good and positive right now so I try to keep this feeling as long as possible. I am going to go to work on a website I have been designing and try to stay focused and driven.

I really hope all of you had a great weekend and a blessed week! God Bless and you will hear from me soon!

Posted in Daily Blessings

Positive Vibes

  1. Awww I woke with a feeling of inner piece (This should be counted as two)
  2. It’s my daughters Birthday and I’m not depressed at the moment
  3. The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day
  4. The birds are chirping and frogs are singing
  5. I have 3 perfect children
  6. I  have an amazing family
  7. I am in an amazing relationship
  8. I have a roof over my head
  9. I am blessed with food, cloths and luxuries
  10. I get to take my doggy Keyba on a nature walk today

positive-vibes

Posted in Life through the eyes/mind of recovering addicts!

A Beautiful Morning

beautif-morningGood morning everyone. Well I got some relief from my head yesterday evening and I was blessed with some inner piece this morning. Today is my youngest daughters 15th Birthday. Five days ago was my oldest son’s 23rd birthday. Usually around this time of year if my children aren’t with me I get very depressed. This year has been no different however this is the first time I woke on one of their birthdays feeling peaceful. It’s an awesome feeling. LOL days of crying and praying do work.

Well I don’t have much to blog about today because my head is at peace I just wanted to check-in though after all I am using this blog to help me to see things in me and to be able to look back on things.

I hope you all have an amazing day God Bless!

Posted in Daily Blessings

Count your blessings

I thought I would create a list of blessings to remind me everyday and hopefully give me a positive prospective when in need!

  1. 3 beautiful perfect children
  2. Roof over my head
  3. Food on the table
  4. Warm water
  5. Indoor pluming
  6. Heat when it’s cold a pool when it’s hot
  7. My pets
  8. Great relationship
  9. Awesome huge families
  10. Sight to see all the beauty around me
  11. Legs to walk anywhere I want
  12. Good health
  13. Cloths
  14. I can feel the warmth of the sun kiss my skin
  15. Luxuries I don’t need (shampoos, lotions, make-up, etc.)

count-blessings

Posted in Life through the eyes/mind of recovering addicts!

My yearly cycle confession

eyeIt’s that time of year again where I really have to be careful. I caught my mind today trying to lie to me to “set the stage”. I am so thankful that I recognized it for what it was instead of giving in. My head is starting to try and get me to believe that my boyfriend is cheating on me. I know that it’s just my rotation because every year this time it tries coming back. My boyfriend has not given me any reason to not trust him nor has his behavior changed yet my head is trying to make up reasons for me to not trust him. My head is doing this because this is the time of year in my past where I would set my partner up to take the fall in front of all. It was my way to have an excuse to cheat and make it their fault to boot. I not only made it their fault I set them up in front of other people to look as though they were abusing me. I would invite friends and or family over for a nice BBQ, then I would start a fight with my partner, I was so good I would time that fight and just when I knew people would start to show up I would push my partner to the breaking point. This way when people showed up my partner was in a rage, yelling, screaming, lifting their fist while poor little me cried and pretended to be scared.

I refuse to allow my past behaviors come back to ruin what I have. I couldn’t do it without my Higher Power! Awesome small miracles!

 

Posted in Life through the eyes/mind of recovering addicts!

Assumptions!

Venn_A_intersect_B_alt.svgWell here’s the story, I was asked to puppy sit for 3 days so this family could take their children to Disney Land for a vacation. I agreed because I really love this puppy and I like these people and I just like to help people. Well they were suppose to come and pick their puppy up yesterday and come 10:00 p.m. I messaged them to see if I could go to bed or if they were coming to get her. She responded not too long after that (she was driving which is why I hadn’t heard from her). She said they would be here tomorrow that they wouldn’t make it home till around midnight because of traffic. That was fine by me so I went to bed. I went to bed angry mind you (don’t know why but I was angry) and I woke angry. My mind has been messing with me.

Well it was around 10:30 a.m. and I still hadn’t heard anything so now I’m beginning to thing these people are taking advantage of me. They aren’t communicating anything at all. When the hell are they coming for her? What I did was I jumped without even realizing it back into my old bad habit of assuming. I learned awhile ago that assumptions are usually wrong and yet my mind goes haywire and I jump right back into old bad behaviors. The puppies family got ahold of me and they had a perfectly legit and damn good reason for not contacting me when they did. They apologized, explained and let me know that they would be here after work.

What an ass I feel like but it just goes to show how badly I always have to analyze my thoughts. I NEED to keep this conscious!